My Journey – Fatherhood – Week 1: My Son Has Arrived…Wish Me Luck


Our son is finally here!! At 6:42 AM on June 23rd 2019(About 4 days ago), our son was born.

We still need to get used to him being here with us…our sleep schedule has changed pretty drastically. Even our meal schedules have changed a bit in order to meet his needs.

I, myself am still adjusting to the changes, but the joy that he brings makes it all worth it.

 

Making Adjustments

These last 4 days have been a blur.

We had an appointment with his pediatrician less than a day after he and my girlfriend were discharged from the hospital.

I am back working out regularly after a 5 day layoff and we went to the grocery store with our son in a stroller for the first time.

The rest of the time has been mainly short amounts of sleep mixed with the baby’s cry waking me up, losing track of the time of day and making sure that we are not being too loud.

I’ll say it again, I am still adjusting.

 

20 Pounds In 40 Days

On a side note, I’ve lost about 20 pounds since my last doctor’s visit about 40 days ago.

As I’ve mentioned before, I was fasting for about 18 hours a day in the beginning, stuck mainly between 1,100 and 1,500 calories a day, did 45 minutes at 4.0 speed and 4.0 incline on the treadmill 5 days a week and did random amounts of mixed high/low intensity workouts.

It was a rough month or so, with the low calorie intake, I felt hungry and week constantly.

Currently, I am not counting calories anymore, but I am still doing 46 minute sessions on the treadmill at the same settings 3 days a week.

I hope to bring that up to 4 days soon, but with my son here, I feel guilty leaving the house sometimes, because my girlfriend has to watch him alone.

 

Bonding Time

Today, I spent much of the day watching my son and making sure he isn’t hungry or crying too much.

I had a good amount of time to bond with him, but I don’t know if we’ve bonded yet.

It still hasn’t fully sunken in that he’s my son. I feel a disconnection with him even though I’ve spent almost every waking moment around him since he was born a few days ago.

I read an article that explained that bonding with your baby can happen as soon as when he’s in the womb but as long as months later.

I hope it doesn’t take that long for me to bond with my son.

Maybe I just have to wait for it to sink in that he’s my son, then after that, hopefully I start to bond with him.

 

Getting Comfortable

As I mentioned above, I spent much of the day hanging out with my son today.

With the day just about over, I feel like I am more comfortable watching my son than I did earlier in the day. It didn’t come with ease though, there was a lot of trial and error.

And due to the fact that my girlfriend has had so much more experience with kids that I have, I have felt less confident.

My son also takes to her better at this moment, she is able to make him stop crying almost instantly by just hugging on him, I have to give him a pacifier.

All that I can do is try and keep trying until I learn from my mistakes and figure out what works.

I feel like I am on the right track though, the little experience that I have so far is making me feel more comfortable, little by little.

 

Can’t Escape The Bottle

A couple days ago, we decided to give the baby a bottle of breast milk because while breast feeding my son was latching on improperly and it was causing my girlfriend pain and bleeding.

Now, our son will not breast feed anymore. The only way to get him to feed is by pumping and bottling.

After this all happened, I read articles that explained why this happened…it’s because the bottle allows for easier milk release, the breast requires suction for several seconds before the milk is released.

Because more work is required to get milk from the breast, the baby prefers the bottle method. It’s obvious…less work for equal pay, I’d do the same myself.

But we are currently trying to find ways for him to feed from the breast again, we started using bottle nipples with less flow to simulate the natural nipple flow to guide him back to the breast.

 

Wish Me Luck

Only a few days into it and I realize that it’s harder that I thought.

I remember thinking that there are 2 of us(me and my girlfriend), how hard can watching a baby be with 2 people?

Oh my gosh, the first couple days, I think I only had a few hours of sleep each day.

I also feel panicked when my son’s cry goes from a whimper to a full-on screaming cry and he isn’t taking the pacifier.

Now, I heard that giving a newborn a pacifier isn’t recommended, but if the baby is screaming, there are very few options to calm him down, a pacifier probably isn’t the worst option.

But like I was saying, parenthood is harder than I thought it would be…for multiple reasons: the parents not agreeing on certain things, the baby fussing more than usual, finding time to sleep, finding time to sleep and the list goes on and on.

On the other end of the spectrum though, there are many nice moments with the baby.

I find myself melting sometimes when the baby is staring into my eyes(or seemingly), cracking a slight smile and having is little body laying in my arms and/or on my chest.

To every thing, there is the Yin and Yang…with every hardship, there is an ease and/or joy. And with happiness comes sadness, and so on.

I am currently able to see both sides more clearly than usual, maybe because there is a lot more at stake.

Meanwhile, I’m still trying to find my way through uncharted territory in my life.

Wish me luck.

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