My Journey – Fatherhood – Weeks 5 Through 14: Sunshine After The Rain


Needless to say that these last couple months away from updating you guys about my journey has been really busy to say the least.

I don’t quite remember the timeline of when every thing happened, so I’ll have to do a summary-based entry today.

Since the last time I wrote about my journey, so much has happened.

So many ups and downs!!

 

Before And After

Back in April of 2018, before my son was even conceived, my girlfriend and I went down to Seward Park in Seattle, WA to have lunch. It was a beautiful day by the water.

While we were there, we went took several pictures. I remember at the time, my girlfriend hated taking pictures. Much has changed since then.

Anyway, during this passed summer(2019), my girlfriend and I took our son back to Seward Park to take pictures.

This time, we wanted to have pictures to compare last years pictures. We wanted to have “before and after” pictures.

The first set for 2018 was of just my girlfriend and I. The second set has the two of us with the addition of our son.

Afterwards, we went for a walk on the trail around Seward Park.

It was a beautiful day, the sun was out and the lake water was glistening.

Sad to say that we only made it out there once last summer.

 

Taking A Baby On The BPA Trail?

During the summer, we also had the chance to take our son out onto a couple trails in Federal Way, WA. These trails, well actually, it was only one trail…was the BPA Trail.

There were many parts to this trail. Part by the water, part by transformers and power lines with rabbits and part containing foxes.

The part near the transformers and power lines is my girlfriend’s favorite part of the BPA trail. On a sunny day, it feels great to be on that trail because of all the trees and bushes. It’s very serene, even with the transformers and power lines.

 

Home Sweet Home

It’s sad to say that most of our summer was spent sitting at home.

While it was beautiful outside, we were budgeting so we usually went out to do things that didn’t cost much or anything at all like going for walks on the BPA trails.

And if we weren’t out on the trail or getting groceries, we’d be at home.

We tried to take our baby out as much as possible, but it was tough sometimes.

Being a first time parent, there’s a lot of anxiety that comes with having a fussy baby out in public.

Because of this, we usually only went out when we had to, or when foot traffic was light.

With our budget and our fussy baby in mind, the thought of going out was anxiety provoking so while not the most mentally healthy, staying home was an easy decision.

 

Bonding Time

More recently, after going back and trying again, my girlfriend has successfully gotten our son to breastfeed for the first time since our son’s first week of existence.

The problem now is that he likes the boob so much that he fusses almost every time he is given the bottle.

Since our son’s been breastfeeding, besides him preferring the boob over the bottle, we found another problem.

He’s so comfortable on the breast that he falls asleep before he’s gotten enough to fill his belly.

Sometimes he falls asleep immediately after latching…the problem with this is that he wakes up soon after still hungry, crying for more milk.

At least he is getting the comfort that he needs and his mom is getting the bonding time as well.

 

How We Passed The Gas Problem

Somewhere in between these last couple months, we also went through a bought with gas. My son’s gas to be exact.

There were a few weeks where he was having gas pains.

These pains were so painful that he would wake up out of a sound sleep crying at the top of his lungs. It was pretty scary.

We tried infant gas medicine. and while it worked initially, it’s effectiveness seemed to taper off.

We also used Gripe Water. Which seemed to help some.

We went from bottle brand to bottle brand trying to find a bottle that helped. We even tried bottle feeding with his head tilted slightly higher than his chest.

Switching to an anti-gas/colic bottle by Dr. Brown seemed to help.

We also stopped giving him probiotic drops that we thought would help his thrush problem. We realized later that these might’ve partially caused some of his gas problems.

By stopping certain things and starting others, our son’s gas problems have pretty much stopped. Maybe partially because he is getting bigger and more sturdy, plus he’s burping a lot better.

As of late, the gas pains that he was having are less frequent seeming.

 

Please Sleep Like A Baby

The last few days, our son has cried like he is in pain.

When something is bothering him or if he is feeling uncomfortable, he usually fusses. These cries that he has been having are really deep, solid cries. He sometimes wakes up crying one of these cries.

Have we created a monster? I feel like we have.

He doesn’t want to be laid down or left alone. He wants to be held at all times it seems like.

Just about every time we lay him on the tummy time mat or in his swing, he starts fussing minutes later.

I’m starting to think that we’ve spoiled him by constantly holding him and paying him attention.

Because of all the attention we’ve shown him, he’s been really hard to get to sleep.

I have to rock him while patting his back until he falls asleep, then keep doing so for another 10 minutes.

If I lay him down too soon, he wakes himself back up by moving, then he starts fussing then crying, then I have to start the process over again.

Sometimes it takes hours to get him to sleep.

I just found out that I was supposed to lay him down as he is falling asleep, allowing him to fall asleep on his own. I wish I would’ve know this sooner.

Now, getting him to fall asleep is a struggle. I dread doing it sometimes.

 

There’s Sunshine After The Rain

These last 2 months have been really tough.

Besides taking care of our son, my girlfriend and I have had to compromise on decisions for our son as well as compromising with ourselves and our living situation.

My girlfriend has been looking for a job, I’m trying to get my business off the ground. Money has been tight, but I know things are going to change soon.

Tough times never last, but tough people do.

Throughout this experience, I’ve learned a lot about myself and how to be a father.

Sometimes, people don’t like to see their flaws until they have to. Being in this situation with my son and my girlfriend, I’ve had to face my flaws.

By facing my flaws, I’m consciously trying to change some things both for the good of my relationship with my girlfriend and also to be able to teach my son to be a better person than his dad was.

Even though we are approaching the colder and darker seasons, I know that brighter days are ahead for us.

 

 

 

 

 

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