My Journey – Week 28: Sweet Feelings


Today, our baby is 2.54 lbs (1.15 kg) and he is the size of an Acorn Squash. Hiccups have become a common occurrence said to allow him to strengthen his diaphragm as he gets ready to breathe oxygen. He also has settled into a nice sleep cycle that where he is able to enter the REM phase of sleep which allows him to have dreams. His weight will also triple between now and the time he is ready to come out.

 

11 Weeks Left

A couple days ago, we hit week 29 of our journey. Yes, this means that in about 11 weeks our baby boy will be joining us. It’s been a stressful but rewarding experience. There are parts of this journey that drag and seemed very slow, but there are other periods that seem to fly by. Nevertheless, there are only 11 weeks left and the thought of there only being 2 and a half months to go, the pressure is mounting. It sometimes becomes overwhelming as I wonder how prepared we are. I wonder if we have enough clothes, what other equipment we need for him, if I will be a good father, if I’m ready to even be a father and how I will give him everything he needs or if I will even know what he needs, I start realizing that the beginning is near and the road is long, and that this journey is my most important one. At times, I have to remind myself that it doesn’t have to be all serious though. This journey will also include a large amount of fun, laughter and tender moments. I also realize that I will rise to the occasion and will grow as a person, a part of my life that has seemingly become stagnant over the years. When he is here, I know that I will need him as much as he will need me.

 

Being A Good Partner

I talked about growing as a person in the last paragraph, I mentioned how it’s become stagnant. But as I take a step back and look at it as a whole, I’ve actually been progressing in growth as a man. I feel like I’m becoming a better partner for my girlfriend. Prior to her, I was a very closed minded person. I felt like I had to assert my side and my way of doing things to show my dominance. It was always my way or the highway!! I guess I have grown to become a better partner, but I will continue to mature and grow in other aspects of my life. Lately, I’ve noticed that I have become more open to criticism and that reaching a compromise is important in a relationship. No more “it’s only going to be my way whether you like it or not”. Maybe this is how a relationship is supposed to be. A mature one at least. So for the first time I feel like I’m in a relationship where I’m with someone that is my equal. I guess I have grown to become a better partner, but I will continue to mature and grow in other aspects of my life.

 

Being There For Her

My girlfriend is a strong woman. She’s been pregnant for about over 7 months, has all kinds of aches and pains, can be very emotional due to the pregnancy and everyday things have become hard for her to do. Yet, she pushes through it all and tries to keep a smile on her face. But no matter how strong somebody is, there are moments where people are overcome with emotion or days where nothing seems to be going your way and it seems like life is picking on you. I realize that these are the moments that I have to be strong for her, to give her a shoulder to cry on or to remind her that tomorrow will be a brighter day. Sometimes people need someone to be there for them, man or woman. To me, it’s important to be there for her and I know that if I ever need her, she will be there for me as well.

 

Very Endearing

I think for the first time, things are starting to feel real. That things are starting to sink in. Our baby is coming!! Sometimes when my girlfriend is sleeping, I place my hand on her belly to see if I can feel the baby moving. Every time I’ve done that, I’ve felt punches and kicks. It’s kind’ve a weird feeling because it feels like I’m alone with him. It’s a very endearing feeling which gives me a profound sense of happiness and responsibility. I feel a similar feeling when my girlfriend tells me to feel her belly sometimes…touching her bump, I often feel my son’s body pushed up against the outer part of her abdominal area. I can feel his weight and the shape of his body. Every time this happens, I can’t help but smile. It gives me a rush of happiness and endearment…sweet feelings that are prefacing me for what’s to come. I love my little boy, maybe I’ve always loved him.

 

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