My Journey – Week 39: Is Today The Day?


Today our son weighs 7.23 pounds and is about 19.9 inches tall…about the size of a pumpkin.

 

Is Today The Day?

Today is possibly the day!! What day you may ask? The day that we go in to get induced. We are currently on-call to go in to get the birth process started. I feel calm yet on edge. We’ve been on call since 7 AM today, we will remain on-call until 9 PM tonight. The possibility of our son arriving tonight or tomorrow is sending me into a panic and excitement. On one hand, our lives will change forever. No more making plans then leaving within a minutes notice. Everything has to be planned then baby care has to be included in the planning. But at the same time, we will have a new motivation in our lives. A source of motivation that is long overdue for me. My professional life has become quite sluggish and a nice reboot of my system would help out greatly. In addition, I will have a reason to move on to the next step of my growth as a human being overall. I feel like I’ve been stuck in the same spot for about a decade in that department also. I think with all this growth in the making, I will finally become the person that I need to be to raise our son properly. Besides my growth, I have a feeling that the relationship between me and my girlfriend will get a lot deeper. We will finally feel like a family potentially. But pulling back even further and looking at the even bigger picture, our little guy will be a huge source of happiness and joy. I see plenty of good times ahead filled with love and laughter.

 

39 Weeks

At week 39, we are more than ready for him to join us in our lives. I am already starting to feel like he is here, I can feel his energy. We’ve been on this pregnancy journey for 39 weeks, a long 39 weeks! But just about everything that we need to get done has gotten done. We even got a new portable air conditioner to keep our baby’s/our room cool during the upcoming summer months. Just about all his stuff is washed and ready to him to wear, be swaddled in or to lay in. We have all the furniture we need for him in place. We just need him here. I feel really bad for my girlfriend because she is in constant pain and discomfort due to the baby’s size as even smaller movements are getting more and more uncomfortable. But from what she’s told me, there are indications that our baby is going to be born soon, with or without an induction. The anticipation is killing me, being on call is only adding to the anticipation. Mommy and Daddy love you and are ready for you son.

 

Power of Parenthood

Earlier, I mentioned that my son will be a source of motivation for me, a huge source at that. I believe this to be true already because just the other night after watching a scary movie, I was walking out to the kitchen in the dark. I remember feeling a little scared(Yes, I was afraid of the dark in my mid 30s. Don’t judge me! It was after we watched a scary movie like I mentioned.), but right in that moment, I remembered that I have a son on the way and that I need to not be scared of things…for him. I need to be a stronger man, and instantly, I didn’t feel afraid anymore. Crazy right? Just the thought of my impending Fatherhood status gives me the power to change my mindset and emotions. This makes me think about my childhood and how my dad, who doesn’t/didn’t speak English too well, was able to move the family from Thailand to America, find housing for us, find a job to support us, get his driver’s license, buy a car, get us enrolled in school, attend parent/teacher meetings, helped me with my homework and an endless amount of other things. And my mom, who speaks even less English than my dad, took me to doctor’s appointments, took me on Metro buses(public transportation), navigated streets without being able to read street signs/names and also an endless amount of other things. It shows you the power of a parent’s will and the emotional and mental strength parenthood can bring.

 

We will continue to wait for the call.

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